Stories Are Personal. Personal Experiences Connect.
Sitting in a Doctor’s office in late March of 2008, I picked up Best Life magazine – bizarrely it was a Sept 2006 issue. For some reason, I always look at the last page first as I seem to find the personal experiences quicker that way. The article was written by David Keeps as told by the actor David Duchovny in a segment called “my defining moment.” The headline intrigued me: “Father and Son Reunion” so I started scanning and then decided to read it.
Duchovny spoke of how his parents separated when he was 11 and that his father moved to another state when he was 13. And as he grew older the conversations were somewhat superficial, but cordial with updates on what was happening in their lives.
Duchovny said: “Every time we’d see each other, it felt like a siege. There was all the sense of hoping I could get out of there without any shit going down.” A few years back, when they started rehashing history, Duchovny had an epiphany in the middle of the night. He realized he had been looking for closure. His words to his dad: “I don’t want resolution. I just want you to come visit me. I can’t change the past. I would just like to have you present.” Powerful stuff.
They hung out and did not rehash. They just enjoyed each other’s company. “Really all we want is company, the presence of people we love in our lives.” As they were waiting for the car to arrive for the airport, his dad asked if Duchovny if he had a couple of gloves to play catch. For 20 minutes they played silently. That was the last time they saw each other. His father died about six months later.
Two more quotes that speak to me:
- “It’s not about what you say, it’s about showing up and whether or not that guy is going to throw the ball back to you.”
- “We actually still wanted to be around each other and there was still something of substance to be had just by sitting in the same room”
What are you waiting for – Call someone you care about 
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